Why We Don't Baptize Infants or Other Unsaved Children

Question:

Since Paul says that the parents’ faith makes children holy in 1 Corinthians 7:14 and since Paul probably baptized children in Acts 16:33 and Peter called for children to be baptized in Acts 2: 38-39, shouldn’t the baptism of children be an acceptable practice?

I received this via email… the person is outside our church…

Thank you for your question. I think what we have here is a common misconception that may be built upon a faulty interpretative practice. When we interpret Scripture, we are to read from Scripture rather than reading our preferences or preconceived ideas into Scripture. Reading from Scripture, not to be overly technical, is called “exegesis,” and reading into Scripture is called “eisegesis.” The Greek prefixes ex (or ek) and eis mean from or in (into), respectively. Sometimes, we are tempted to hold to a tradition or teaching we received from others, and we look for texts or parts of texts that appear to support this preconceived idea or tradition.

Let’s take Acts 2:38-39 for starters. Let’s take these verses in context. They are part of a larger flow of thought. The passage isn’t about baptism. It’s about the birth of the New Testament church, beginning with those who likely shouted “crucify” before and then coming to faith upon the preaching of the Gospel:

Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.” 37 Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” 38 And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” 40 And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.” 41 So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. (Acts 2:36-41)

We can make the following observations from the text:

• The call to the listening audience was to repent and be baptized (sequentially) for forgiveness and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (v. 38).

• This is the promise for their children and others who do not know the Lord but are called by God to salvation (v. 39)—“those the Lord our God calls to himself.”

• Notice in verse 39 that there is an appositive—grammatically—that describes those for whom the promise is for: their children and other unbelievers (“those who are far off”).

• What is “the promise?” Those who repent and then are baptized will receive forgiveness and the Holy Spirit—this pertained their unsaved children and other pagans whom the Lord our God would call to himself:

For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.”

• In response to this, those present in the crowd who received his word were baptized (v. 41). There is no mention of children being baptized in this text. Those who received his word were baptized and it is doubtful that infants or other small children incapable of understanding and embracing the gospel were baptized.

This passage is not about baptism but repentance and what it produces (repentance being synonymous with salvation in this context).

Applying the same diligence to Acts 16:33, we read this from the text:

And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their wounds; and he was baptized at once, he and all his family. 34 Then he brought them up into his house and set food before them. And he rejoiced along with his entire household that he had believed in God. (Acts 16:32-34)

Let’s make a few observations from the text.

• Paul and Silas spoke the word of the Lord to the jailer and to all who were in his house.

• He was baptized at once and all his family because they heard the word of the Lord; there is no mention of others (i.e., all who were in his house).

• This follows the pattern of Acts—those who received the word of the Lord were baptized.

There is no mention of children in the text.

The idea that Paul “probably” baptized children is unsupported by the text and must be read into the text, not from it. Moreover, you want to avoid building an ecclesiological commitment from “probablys.” Some attempt to construct a theology of “household baptism” from this text. However, this isolated passage would not be the place to start or finish.

Let’s consider your understanding of 1 Corinthians 7:14 within its context. Ask yourself,   “What is the passage within which I find this verse addressing? What is the point of the passage?

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)

The discourse here never mentions or hints at baptism. The passage is about staying in a marriage where there is an unbelieving spouse and is part of a large discussion of marriage and divorce beginning in verse 1. Often, when one spouse comes to Christ and another spouse does not, there is hardship and friction in the home. Paul is answering the question as to whether or not the believing spouse should stay in the marriage and why. Let’s observe from the text what Paul says.

• If the unbelieving spouse consents to remain in the marriage the believing spouse should remain in the marriage (vv. 12-13).

• One reason given for this is that the unbelieving spouse may become saved through the believing spouse’s witness (v. 16).

• However, if the unbelieving spouse divorces the believing spouse, the believing spouse is free to remarry (v. 15).

• As for being made holy, this is not defined (v. 14).

• It is unlikely that Paul would baptize the unbelieving husband and unbelieving children.

Applying the hermeneutic (interpretive practice), you appear to be suggesting that when you say, “Since the children are made holy by the parents’ belief…” and therefore imply Paul “probably” baptized children, you would have to extend baptism to the unbelieving spouse. This contradicts even Presbyterian and other paedobaptistic notions of baptism. Are you suggesting baptizing an unbelieving spouse (were they to consent to it) and children since they are made holy by the believing spouse’s faith in Christ?

For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Corinthians 7:14)

“They are holy” doesn’t work. According to some commentators, the child's uncleanness speaks to being perceived as a bastard (i.e., fatherless or illegitimate) in Greco-Roman culture. However, let’s stick to the text. Once again, there is no mention of baptism in 1 Corinthians 7:14 or its near context.

Extrapolating the Acts 2 passages and the Acts 16 passage to infer that 1 Corinthians 7:14 in any ways supports household or infant baptism, or the baptism of unregenerate children collapses on itself given the context of the passages above and the flow of the discourse.

Those suggesting this view often point to baptism as a replacement for Old Testament circumcision relating to the Abrahamic Covenant. However, this fails on two fronts. First, Abraham was circumcised after his conversion in Genesis 15:6 (Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness), which is also quoted in Galatians and Romans, not to mention James. Secondly, in the Old Testament economy, only males received circumcision.

We want to be careful here. I have baptized children. But they were believers who had a clear testimony of faith and a grasp of the gospel.

One other helpful point of clarity is found in the teaching of Jesus:

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

Let’s look to Jesus as our authority (v. 18). Let’s look at his command and how the all-wise Son of God, God the Son, sequences it for us:

• Go and make disciples (learners).

• Baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

• Teach them God’s word.

You could put it this way: evangelize, baptize, and catechize. Those who receive the word of the Lord (embrace Christ) are baptized (we know as one of the first steps of obedience). Then they are discipled so that they can be equipped and mature in the faith. Scriptural baptism is the baptism of believers. There is no example anywhere in the New Testament where children are baptized. One has to read that into the text rather than from it.

I want to leave you with a final passage that may add additional clarity, from John’s gospel:

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. (Jn 1:12-13)

Only those whom God calls to himself are saved (v. 13—at the end: “but of God”). Those who receive Christ, those who believe on his name are saved—born of God. There is nothing a bloodline, a family member, or anyone else can do to save someone.  The same can be said of baptism.  Scriptural baptism is for believers only who decide in obedience to Christ to be baptized. As it says in Acts 2:39, “For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.”

TECHNICALLY PROFICIENT BUT UNABLE (UNWILLING?) TO WORK

This post, which may border on being a rant, is really about a biblical perspective on the dignity of work. There’s a misunderstanding in Christian circles and a misunderstanding in our culture that work is somehow a bad thing, a punishment.

Many professing Christians misunderstand work as resulting from the “fall” in the Garden of Eden. This type of biblical illiteracy is unfortunate. Work existed before man rebelled against God:

The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it (Gen. 2: 15).

The treason against God and the resulting consequences came later, as documented in Genesis 3:

And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” (Gen. 3:17-19)

Work became laborious, difficult, and hard—choices have consequences. But work is good, noble, and dignified. As the Reformer, Martin Luther, pointed out, all callings are holy. All jobs are good jobs as they represent acts of worship wherein we have the opportunity to bear witness to God through all we say, think, and do (1 Cor. 10:31).

Which brings us to the point of this (long) post. I watched a video of this young woman who graduated with a PHD from Berkley in soil science. She was posting from her car as she lamented being crushed by capitalism. She complained that her degree required her to go to remote places where it was hot and sweaty and work long, uncomfortable hours, presumably for people she didn’t like (i.e., oil companies, industry; agribusiness). It seems she didn’t want to work more than 30 hours a week and in an urban setting (i.e., San Francisco). Watching her complain, it was intuitively obvious to the casual observer that her problem wasn’t capitalism but laziness (and perhaps ignorance). It’s doubtful she’s ever held a job in her life.

Which brings us to a podcast interview with what is arguably the most successful academic institution in America: Wichita State University-Tech Division. That’s right, not USC, UCLA, Harvard, Yale, etc., but WSU. If you are curious, you can listen to a lengthy interview with WSU’s president here. It’s a secular podcast interview, and if you don’t listen to the entire interview, you’ll miss the point of the whole interview (conversations have a beginning, a middle, and an end). If it seems a little homespun… that’s intentional. One of their research efforts was interviewing industries so that they could find their graduates jobs after their education was complete.

What they learned was that students were graduating with an education but no work ethic. They were technically proficient but unwilling (unable?) to work. Many of the students wanted 9-5 or wanted to be paid their “worth” and were unwilling to sacrifice for team members or the greater good. Perceived slights resulted in “quitting in place.” Quitting in place is where the employee just marked time until the day ended, or they were fired, or found another workplace to go (and be miserable?).

Part of this is that younger people no longer take summer work like cutting the grass anymore, but do (old-fashioned) jobs like paper routes, etc. They don’t work in fast food or other—what were once—transitional jobs. Adults are taking these jobs now because of new minimum wage requirements.

Such jobs were once “training ground jobs” for young people seeking summer or part-time employment. Few pursue such jobs these days. Instead, they play video games, take AP prep, and expect high-paying jobs, most of which will never materialize. Why is this?

Today, young people obtain useless degrees, rack up debt they can never repay, and self-medicate (pot, vaping, et al). They are ill-equipped and poorly motivated.

In contrast, WSU recently graduated a high school student through AP programs who received her high school diploma and an associate degree. She obtained a full ride (full scholarship) to the University to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering. This person was a Latina woman who was the first high school graduate in her family. WSU has a “sweat pledge” that you should read (they borrowed it from the Mike Rowe foundation. You can find it here. Read it here (remember these are unbelievers but they are onto something).

Employers lament that no one teaches students how to behave. They come to work without their shirt tails in and they have their phones out. Many will lose their jobs to AI because they don’t have hard skills. They will live at home until their late 20s or early 30s—or fail to launch.

In the middle of this podcast, there was an ad for a firm that builds nuclear submarines for the US government. They are hiring for 250,000 positions over the next 20 years. They need mechanical engineers, metallurgists, welders, and electricians, and they pay well. Job stability and high pay—imagine that.

My point is not to sing the praises of a single institution. But to point to a larger cultural problem, the misunderstanding of work and purpose.

The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it (Gen. 2: 15).

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Cor. 10:31)

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3:17)

I get it. Unbelievers will not grasp a theology of work. And I won’t go further into the passages that call employees to honor their employers and not just with “eye service” (when the boss is watching) or in Philippians, where we are to honor others above ourselves. But, I want to address two people groups as I close this blog post.

Parents… what are you teaching your children? Are they learning responsibility? Work ethics? Hard work? Forget about grades, which mean less and less because of academic grade inflation. Don’t get me wrong. Grades are important—but character is more so.

Young people, what’s your purpose? Do you know? Are you quitting in place? Coasting? Do you expect to be well-paid? And how are you glorifying God in the process? Do you realize that your work and work ethic are an act of worship? Who, what, are you worshipping?

Illegal Immigration and the "Refugee:" A Biblical Perspective, part one.

As Christians, our hearts must grieve for those souls who have left their homes for a better life to come to our country, as immigrants have for over two centuries. Many of them ended up being trafficked by cartels and are now sex workers. Many sent their children with “mules” or “coyotes,” paying inordinate amounts of money to get their children to America from places like Venezuela or Mexico, which are failed states ruled by dictators or cartels. Some have left China and are flying to Latin America to be conducted across the southern border, along with Afghans, Turks, and others have come through Canada. Many have sought refuge from incompetent governments or other failed states in places like Haiti, Somalia, and other locations.

They have made their way to America from all kinds of places and situations. Naturally, when close to 20 million people enter the country in four years, there are going to be bad actors (i.e., gang members, criminals, or so-called ne'er–do–wells who wish to exploit the opportunity through social services and the like). That’s true of any situation involving large numbers of people doing anything, coming from anywhere.

Why do they come here? Why come to the United States? Notice no one is fleeing to China, Russia, Iran, Cuba, Venezuela, North Korea, Zimbabwe, South Africa, etc. No other country in the world has numbers like ours.

Why not stay in Canada or other Latin American countries besides the ones they are leaving? That’s a complex question—which we will address. But simply stated, the irony is that this is the freest, safest, most welcoming country on earth. Despite all our self-flagellation and bad press, the truth is that people come here from all over the world because this is the so-called land of opportunity (and it is).

People come here from all over the world. We live in Silicon Valley, and you find people from India, China, Korea, various Arab-speaking nations, and Europe. And then there is our Spanish-language congregation! You might say they are from “every tongue tribe, people, and nation.” Hillside Church has become multi-ethnic over the last nine years or so.

Ours is a welcoming nation, or people wouldn’t come here. We’ve demonstrated our embrace of diversity by electing a black president twice. We are unlike any other nation in the world.

And yet, we are a complex people. Divided. Confused at the moment by a number of issues, including illegal immigration, “refugees.” There’s even division over the definition of “refugee.”

Illegal immigration is a problem. How can we tell? 80% of the American public (including people on the so-called right and so-called left) want illegal immigration stopped and those with a criminal record deported, as well as those who have come over the last 4 years. 20 million people have crossed the border illegally, that’s a lot of people. Sometimes over 20,000 people in a single day have crossed the border over the previous four years. Now the number has dropped to 8,000 last month, a 25 year low. That’s a record.

How should Christians think through this issue? It’s fair to say that our voices are divided. Just listen.

Of course, popular opinion should not matter for Christians. Our approach to this matter should be guided by biblical principles. We look at the Bible or a text and ask and answer three simple questions: “What does the text say?” “What do the words mean?” and “How then shall we think?” The mind of God, the will of God, on this or any matter, is found in the Scriptures.

Sure, this is a political issue at some level in that the government is involved, and factions exist. Yet, at the same time, this is a biblical issue... an issue of morality... biblical morality. Regrettably, some people combine the two concepts in peculiar ways, subordinating what the text says, that is what God says, to matters of politics, popular culture, etc. There’s a word for that: sin.

Does God’s word address this matter in some way? Indeed, it does! God’s word has something to say about every inch of thread that makes up the fabric of our existence (2 Timothy 3:16). The problem we face as people attempt to rationalize a political belief using the Bible is that verses are ripped out of context, bent, misshaped, and applied to this issue through interpretive gymnastics as people try to get the Bible to say what they want it to say rather than the author’s intent.

A careful read of the landscape reveals that people who line up on opposing sides of this issue often have their array of isolated verses that they can read their agendas into rather than read from the Bible. The Bible must inform and reform our politics (and policy) on this issue.

How is it that our country and many churches are so divided on this issue? It seems that human creatures are people of extremes... we almost naturally polarize. Why is this?

Sin... for one. But you have to go back to the fall in the Garden of Eden, neatly summarized in Romans 5:12: “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned...”

Our goal, as Christians, isn’t to win an argument. This isn’t debate class. We are not lawyers bending language for a client in some cases.  We want to look at this matter with all its human casualties and costs—and losses—through the lens of Scripture as we refine our understanding and apply the Scriptures.

Our goal has to be clarity with charity. What this mean? Speak the truth in love.

Be full of grace and truth... truth without grace can be a bludgeon. Grace without truth is an excuse to sin.

So let’s engage in this matter and think biblically—which is to say critically. This isn’t a debate it is a quest. Will you join me on this journey over the coming weeks? This has been Part One. Until next time.

That Christmas and This Christmas

Merry Christmas! As believers, it’s fine to say this. I recognize there are some in Christian circles who would rather say something to the effect of “Happy Advent.” I understand their sentiments about terminology. However, there are larger issues at stake, eternally speaking.

 The Savior of the World was born into relative obscurity, ending the B.C. (Before Christ) Era. To be precise there was never a time when Jesus did not exist. After all, He is the eternal God (John 1:1-3; Colossians 1:15-16; Genesis 1:1).

 There was a time when time, or at least history, was measured in terms of Before Christ (B.C.) and Anno Domini—A.D. (Latin for in the year of our Lord). As a child, I believed that A.D. stood for “after the death (of Christ).” One day, someone asked me, “What about the in-between time?”

 As I said, Jesus, the Christ, the Son of God, God the Son, and Savior of the World—king of the Universe—was born into relative obscurity. Our secular culture would like to keep it that way. They changed B.C. (before Christ) to B.C.E. (before the common era). Some things you can’t hide. All history points to his coming. And He left his mark on the world.

 This baby in the manger, born in Israel, in the city of Bethlehem—a king born in a manger. A feed trough. But the baby didn’t stay a baby. He grew into a man. A controversial man at that. He claimed to be Israel’s Messiah. He claimed to be the Savior of the World. He claimed to be God. Despite these extravagant claims, the local authorities nailed him to a wooden cross, one of the more agonizing and humiliating ways to die.

 Why did Jesus do this or allow it to happen? Well, that baby in the manger was God in the manger, come to do for us what we could not (and frankly would not) do for ourselves in the ultimate act of love and sacrifice.

 “For  God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. (John 3:16-18, 36)

 The good news is that God has intervened, starting in the form of a baby born in a manger, born in obscurity rather than a palace—the King of the Universe—born and placed in a feed trough. Then, according to prophecy, different people arrived to see this new-born king. We know about the angels, wise men, the shepherds, and, allegedly, a drummer boy.  All the makings of a sentimental Hallmark Christmas story or card.

 His story is not one of sentimentality but sacrificial love.

 What did the angel say, “I bring you good news of great joy what will be for all people... behold unto you a Savior is born... Christ the Lord.” Good news for all people. Without bad news, you don’t need good news. What’s the bad news?

 Humanity has alienated itself from God, rejecting and disregarding him. It finds itself unable to dig itself out of the rebellious hole it has dug for itself. Humanity is at war with God and itself. Look around you. The wages of sin is death, so teens, grandmas, and others are perishing without Christ. The good news is it does not have to be because God has intervened by providing a Savior, without whom there will never be peace on earth or goodwill toward men.

 But the good news is that God has provided rescue as a gift. Don’t push that gift away. You can’t afford to. Embrace Christ. Tell others to do so as well. Receive the gift of forgiveness. How? It’s as easy as ABC.

1.   Admit you are a sinner. You’ve done things wrong. Maybe they are small; perhaps they are not. But you have broken God’s law. You may not be as bad as the guy or gal next door, but you are not good enough to stand before a Holy God. Admit it.

2. Believe there is rescue. That’s the gift of forgiveness that God offers. Take the offer. Believe that God can save you from your sins and their consequences through Christ. Believe in His promises. Admit and believe. Put your confidence in Christ.

3. Commit. Commit yourself to His care, his service, his worship. He loved you; love him back. How? Find ways. Start by finding a real, true Bible-teaching church and learn how to love him better. Love isn’t a sentiment when it comes to loving who that baby in the manger really is. It’s a commitment.

 Now, I’ve only skipped a stone across the surface. If you didn’t know God before, you have an outline to do so (ABC). Suppose you are a believer with lost friends and family. Maybe you’ve got a starting point to begin a conversation with the aim of seeing them embrace Christ.

 If all of this is unfamiliar to you, come join us on Sundays at 9 and 11 and our Christmas Eve Service Tuesday evening from 6 PM to 7 PM (coffee, cocoa, and cookies afterward). You’ll be glad you did. Happy Advent. Merry Christmas.

 Don’t pass this Christmas without considering the baby's message in the manger: “The Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe the gospel (Mark 1:15).” Listen to him and receive the greatest gift—eternal life. Whatever you do, please don’t push it away.

Putting Your Spiritual Gift to Work

This is a teaser of sorts to a larger and longer discussion of Spiritual Gifts. That’s quite a terminology these days: “Spiritual Gifts.” This terminology can confuse some, interest others, and divide many. Spiritual gifts are a complex subject to discuss in brief, but it is worthwhile.

Probably the seminal passage on spiritual gifts, or chapters, is/are 1 Corinthians 12-14. Here is a lesson for today. Paul does an intervention in the Church at Corinth. We have this unruly and raucous church that is like the Wild West.

There are opposing factions, like opposing football teams or political parties. Christians are treating each other terribly, taking each other to court when they could settle matters within the church family. There is sexual immorality that would make a pagan non-believer blush. At least one man would end up excommunicated (later restored after repenting). Women are silenced in some contexts. People are getting drunk at communion and eating up the elements like brunch.

Many think themselves special because they have received, real and imagined, what seems to be some supernatural power from above. And they add to the chaos and disorder by displaying these gifts in indecent and chaotic ways, some anyway.

Things are so out of control that Paul has to step in and stage an intervention. Through Paul, God the Holy Spirit steps in and lays down the law through the Apostle.

By the time we reach 2 Corinthians, an entire church is being corrected and is repenting, at least partially. While restoring order, Paul makes a policy statement that applies to all churches everywhere, and its first installation and application is in Corinth.

As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. 36   Or was it from you that the word of God came? Or are you the only ones it has reached? 37 If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. 38 If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. 39 So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40 But all things should be done decently and in order. (1 Cor. 14:33B-40)

Don’t miss what God is doing. Paul is not going to go through and certify or decertify that this person’s supernatural gift is real or not. Paul is not going to disqualify individuals in this large, unruly church. There are too many people and a larger issue needs to be resolved holistically.

Just as he does in Philemon with slavery, he’s going to regulate bad behavior out of existence in the church. It’s like the Holy Spirit says through Paul, “Here are my commands, disobey them at your own peril. If anyone does disobey them, they are not legitimate.”

In fact, Paul makes just such a statement in 1 Cor. 14:35. To be clear... he’s regulating not abolishing the exercise of an individual’s gift in the local church. How do we know? He says so in the near context of the passage just a few verses later:

So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40 But all things should be done decently and in order. (1 Cor. 14:39-40)

So... about spiritual gifts. Every saved person has had at least one spiritual gift. Some have more than one. No one has all of them, except maybe Jesus during his earthly public ministry as the Son of God, God the Son: the God-Man. He would have been a perfect sinless human and as God in Christ, Jesus would have possessed them all, one way or another.

How can we say that no one possesses every spiritual gift? The Bible says so. The Holy Spirit telling us this:

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. 28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts. (1Cor. 12:27)

Here, in the ESV translation Paul asks a series of rhetorical questions whose answer Paul presumes will be no. He’s trying to challenge the pride present in the Church at Corinth. He’s calling for unity not division. Some, as people are still inclined to do today, are taking pride in their gifts as if their gifts are deserved or they are special. And in correcting their sinful error he addresses gifts in terms of importance, most important to least important, and then asks a series of rhetorical questions. The New American Standard translates it this way with greater clarity:

Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it. 28 And God has appointed in the church, first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, various kinds of tongues. 29 All are not apostles, are they? All are not prophets, are they? All are not teachers, are they? All are not workers of miracles, are they? 30 All do not have gifts of healings, do they? All do not speak with tongues, do they? All do not interpret, do they? 31 But earnestly desire the greater gifts. And I show you a still more excellent way. (1 Cor. 12:27-31 NASB)   

He reminds them (and us by extension) that not everyone will do miracles, not everyone will speak in tongues.

He tells us not everyone will heal. There’s this idea in some quarters that if you have saving faith, or enough faith, that you should be able to replicate every miracle done in the New or Old Testament. That’s just not true:

All are not apostles, are they? All are not prophets, are they? All are not teachers, are they? All are not workers of miracles, are they? 30 All do not have gifts of healings, do they? All do not speak with tongues, do they? All do not interpret, do they? 31 But earnestly desire the greater gifts. And I show you a still more excellent way. (1 Cor. 12:27-31 NASB)   

So many people debate this issue because some, regrettably, being human, take pride in their giftedness. And so Paul, in chapter 13, with a brief introduction in 1 Corinthians 12:31, tells us and them this: “But earnestly desire the greater gifts. And I show you a still more excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:27-31 NASB).

This should have prompted reflection. What, then, are the Greater Gifts? Obviously, the Greatest Gift is love. It’s the only one that lasts forever. We don't need the rest in heaven.

In chapter 13, we are told some will fade and cease before heaven. But from this passage arises another question. What are the Spiritual Gifts? How many do we have? Is there a limited number or is there a list? The short answer is this. There is no comprehensive real list.

What do I mean by this? Well, there are lists of spiritual gifts and offices but while some seem to overlap other parallel lists in parallel passages do not. There is no definitive list. We find no exhaustive list only lists where gifts very in number and identity.

In Romans 12:6- 8, we find a list of seven gifts.

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:6-8)

These gifts do not appear miraculous. Many people label them as “ministry gifts.”

However, in other contexts, the prophecy speaks to a prophetic word given by the Holy Spirit through a prophet or prophets, but prophecy also pertains to written Scripture (2 Peter 1:19-21), complicating classification.

Back to 1 Corinthians and its list of spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 lists nine spiritual gifts that appear to be miraculous or decidedly supernatural.

For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. (1 Cor. 12:8-10)

Given the context of gifts listed, “prophecy,” here, is more than preaching. While one cannot and we will not seek to define the gifts found in this list, it is not unreasonable to say they likely fall into the miraculous category.

Later in chapter 12, there is another list of eight gifts (1 Corinthians 12:28-30).

And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? (1 Corinthians 12:28-30)

This listing confuses some because it appears to blend offices, miraculous (sign gifts), and ministry gifts (non-miraculous). We will not attempt to define them here. Note, however, that there is a class of miraculous miracles (not to seem redundant) that is somehow different from what would also seem miraculous: gifts of healing and miraculous gifts of various tongues.

It is possible that “prophets” speak to both preaching and prophetic utterances. No one can know for sure. Apostles and prophets could overlap as gifts or offices. One thing is clear from the flow of thought in the passage. And what’s that? There is a ranking of gifts from most important to lesser importance.

One cannot help but notice that the greater gifts are more associated with teaching and preaching than the miraculous ones. According to some, this provides a lesson in itself.

Of course, we’re not done yet. Next comes a list in the book of Ephesians.

Ephesians 4:11-14 provides us with a list of five spiritual gifts. All appear to be associated with teaching and preaching. One cannot help but notice the emphasis of the gifts in this passage (building up believers to maturity).

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. (Eph. 4:11-14)

Why did I make the comment that one cannot help but notice the emphasis on the gifts building up believers to maturity?

None of these gifts appear to be miraculous sign gifts. Their aim is clearly “equipping the saints” to do the business of the kingdom of God (“the work of ministry”). These teaching or preaching gifts provide a clear, unifying understanding of the Christian faith to the flock and mature the believer for maximum usefulness to his or her Savior.

Lastly, we come to a final list of spiritual gifts in 1 Peter 4:11. It is less clear cut but included here.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11)

This listing confirms that all gifts serve the common good in 1 Cor. 12: 4-7:

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; 5 and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6 and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. 7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. (1 Cor. 12:4-7)

We live in an age where we have rock-star pastors. When I was at Benny Hinn’s church, the Orlando Christian Center in 1988, he called himself and was called by some, “God’s Anointed.” Even today there is this tendency to elevate men to near god-hood. We are told often in sincerity other times cynically and for profit that this person or that person is somehow special because of the gifts they display when nothing could be further from the truth.

You’ll see this more clearly as we study 1 Cor. 12-14. But for now think with me. What does the term spiritual gift imply? The word gift speaks to grace, or Charis. Reflect on Ephesians 2:8-10 and its implications:

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

One’s spiritual gift is like the gift of one’s salvation. You received it as a gift from God. You didn’t earn it. You don’t deserve it, so, don’t act like you do.

Scolding the unruly yet seemingly gifted people of Corinth the Holy Spirit comments through Paul (to them there and us here): “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 ESV).

To that extent, you can pray for a gift and not receive it. Know that every prayer receives an answer, be it a yes, a no, or a "wait.” Not every answer is yes. So, who determines how and who gets what gift?  It’s simple: the Gift Giver. How can you be sure and certain that I am correct? Look into Scripture. What does the Bible say? What do the words say, what do they mean, and what shall we do? Well, we calibrate or recalibrate our thinking to line up with God’s word:

 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; 5 and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6 and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. 7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 8 For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. (1 Cor. 12:4-11)

I’d like to land the plane on this thought. God, not men, decides who gets what gift, when. The Holy Spirit tells us that he apportions, some translations say distributes, the spiritual gifts as he chooses. There is something far more important here that I’d like to point out and that we must not miss. You’ll find it in your Bibles in 1 Cor. 12:7: “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”

Everyone receives at least one spiritual gift at conversion with the indwelling and infilling of the Holy Spirit. What gifts you have received have been received for just one purpose: the common good. The Holy Spirit puts it this way through the pen of the Apostle Peter:

 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10-11)

We do what we do for the glory of God and the good of others. And in the process we grow, resisting the temptation to elevate ourselves as some did in Corinth.

I’d like to leave you, therefore, with one question. What are you doing with whatever gift you have to serve others in the body of Christ, right here and right now, as good stewards of God’s varied grace—that is, for the common good?  Put your gifts to work. They were given you for this purpose.

Do not let them go to seed.

Why Does God Treat Me So Poorly?

This title is a question that all pastors invariably hear. Sooner or later, during a trial or hardship, someone asks the question. My (secret) reactions and public responses vary as I work out my salvation with fear and trembling, knowing that God is at work in my own life to will and work His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Our trials vary. Our God does not (Hebrews 13:8).

Let me be clear. I am not unsympathetic or “unempathetic” towards suffering. My family and I are no strangers to what some would term “extreme” suffering and hardship over these last 8 years (and long before to be honest). But that said, our suffering is relative and God never gives us more than He will enable us to handle or survive (1 Corinthians 13:8). But sometimes in the midst of hardship and suffering we lose perspective when in the middle of the storm (read Habakkuk, Lamentations, and or Job).

Why does God treat me (us?) so poorly? We read in Genesis 6 about Noah that Noah found grace in the eyes of God (Genesis 6:8). We read that we are saved by grace (God’s undeserved favor) and not by our performance (Ephesians 2:8-9). We read God so loved the world that He sent His one and only son that whosoever believes in Him has eternal life (John 3:16).

Can I ask you a question? Where do you live? Do you live in the USA? Do you live in Europe? Do you live in a “Third World Country?” Do you live in Ukraine, Israel, Gaza, or Iran? China? Do you have two arms and two legs? Regardless of your answer, if you are a born-again Christian, then you have all you really need for the next 750,000 years… salvation… an eternity in heaven, where God will wipe away every tear.

In our comfortable age, some people think that being stuck in a traffic jam for an hour or so is suffering. There are Christians in some parts of India, an increasingly totalitarian place, where being beaten, killed, or raped for your faith is suffering. Some in China, where organs are harvested off of live dissidents for sale to Westerners, think they are suffering.

Sometimes we need a bit of a wake-up call. A jolt. That’s kind of what I’m doing here. As Christians, when our brothers and sisters suffer hardship, we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). And as Paul writes elsewhere we are to encourage the weak and help the fainthearted—and this particularly pertains to those who are suffering. However, is it possible that your suffering is a gift? That God wants to employ you to encourage others?

Finally, have you ever considered that this life is short and eternity is long and your eternal life in Christ is far better than you deserve? Have you considered that though the wages of sin is death (and far worse) God has given you eternal life and that you are right this moment receiving from God far better than you could ever, ever deserve? Maybe you should rephrase the question as you reorient your thinking. Instead, ask, “Lord, why do you treat me as well as you do and how can I use this hardship to glorify you, encourage others, and grow in grace and wisdom in the process?” Think about it. And remember… there are others in this world in this present age who have it “far worse.” Give thanks to God that He has not gifted you with their struggles.

When the Church Doesn't Know What a Church Is...

1 Tim. 3:14-15   I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, 15 if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth. 

What is “the Church?” What is a church? When was the last time you gave that question much (any?) thought? These days, most people don’t give the idea much, if any, thought at all. And that’s not just people in dead and dying denominations like the United Methodist Church, the Episcopal Church, USA, or the Presbyterian Church, USA, who close thousands of churches a year because they jettisoned the Bible half a century ago or longer. This includes so-called “Bible Teaching Churches” or “Evangelical Churches.”

Many confuse “Christianity” or Christendom with the Church or a Church. College students think that attending a Bible study on campus or participating in CRU, InterVarsity, is “church.” Nothing could be farther from the truth. In reality, these should be, or once were, evangelistic organizations trying to reach college students. Now, these parachurch organizations act as if they are the church, or they are churches. They are not… not even close. For one, they are often student-led, which means no one is qualified as an elder or spiritual leader. Second, they have to be so broad that they don’t stand for much “convictionally” except the gospel, and most aren’t sure what the gospel is particularly CRU.

Parachurch organizations… What does that mean? Supposedly, they are supposed to “come alongside the church.” That’s what is implied by the Greek word “para.” In reality, most do not. They have bloated bureaucracies. They have “staff.” They need money… lots of it. They have boards and donor relations (like a museum). What once began as associations of churches coming together for a common cause morphed into something that was unaccountable to the local church, siphoned off resources from the local church, and competed with the local church for people, resources, etc. They are almost like denominations. All these once served the local church, but now, in some odd way, the local church serves them.

What they don’t realize is that as they drain off the blood supply from the local church, they are sawing off the limb that they are sitting on. Where do their administrators come from? The local Church. Where do seminary professors and denominational officials come from? The local church. Where did their seed money come from? The local church.

Who makes this sad state of affairs possible? The local church. What is the local church? People who confuse it with a charity like the United Way, Compassion International, or the Humane Society.

The Church is something else according to Paul, according to Jesus. It is the pillar and support of the truth, it is Christ’s bride. All too often, people “rob Peter to pay Paul by diverting their giving to parachurch organizations that are not the church but maybe Christian charities from the church. Buildings fall apart, staff is underpaid, ministries are understaffed, and people become frustrated because the church isn’t doing enough.

You give to ministries through the church. You don’t give to ministries and the church. Each local congregation prioritizes its missionaries, its outreaches, etc. These priorities are approved or rejected by church leadership. And the church supports ministries outside the church in this way. Why? Because they have access to more facts and real needs than you do as an individual. The aggregated giving makes a greater impact than your individual giving can. We call this storehouse giving.

If you can’t trust your leadership to do this, then you should diligently find a church whose leadership you can trust and move your ministry there. If your church isn’t making “budgeting giving” and you are giving outside the church, then you’ve clearly misunderstood the church and your responsibility to the church. When your church is running surpluses, then you can give above your support (tithes, offerings, etc.) if you must give outside the local church.

When the church doesn’t know what it is, people neglect their support of the local church (that’s financial support). Invariably, the 20% carries the ball for the other 80% in giving. If you’re in the 80% it’s time to do your part, giving wise. If you are in the 20%—don’t give more. Let these others do their part.

An old pastor friend of mine, a mentor, really began making it a practice to check the service and the giving of chronic complainers. What do you think he learned? 90% of the time, those most dissatisfied (those who complained the most) served the least and gave the least, if at all. I was aghast and challenged him on this. He asked me for chapter and verse for my position. “Well, I said… it just seems wrong!,” I said.

He smiled and said something about the squeaky wheel. Then he told me to try it. I employed this practice once only to find this individual I was dealing with who could not be satisfied: (1) did little in the way of service; (2) had lifetime giving over 15 years of under $300. He clearly didn’t know what the church was. He thought the church was there to serve him, not realizing that, as the church, he was here to serve others. The Church is not a country club. It doesn’t belong to you. You belong to it as a slave of Christ. Jesus gives us the proper mindset in Luke’s gospel:

Luke 17:7-10   “Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? 8 Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’”

Take some time to read your Bible and understand the Church. Want to read a book about a healthy church? Read “9 Marks of a Healthy Church” by Mark Dever. And when you’ve done all you can as the church to understand the church, realize that at best, you and I, in Jesus’ eyes, are unworthy servants who have only done our duty (see above). But by His grace we are saved to serve, give, and sacrifice in your local church. Think about it.

Breaking Free From Porn (2 of 3)

Last time we discussed, to no one’s surprise, that porn is harmful. We noted the many ways that porn harms and kills, literally, spiritually, and otherwise. It is not a victimless crime but a crime with many victims, from the perpetrator, or porn user, to those on film and those related to the user and those associated with the making of porn.

 Porn is a crime against God, nature, and all participants. It fuels the illicit human trafficking “industry,” and it is a gateway drug, for lack of a better term, into more lurid and perverse types of behavior. We described it as slow-motion suicide and slow-motion murder. Feeding the porn industry brings about death to others, and your willing participation results in the slow murder of others. It is slow-motion suicide because you die through the death of a thousand cuts as you sear your conscience, kill your soul and moral compass, and eventually, everything you say you hold dear. Porn, as we discussed, creates a physiological reaction that increasingly requires more to satisfy the hormonal responses it makes in your body to the point that more and more porn, like more and more drugs, is needed to fulfill the “addiction.”

 Here’s where we must be careful. Our culture tries to destigmatize our wrong moral choices and their effect by often giving them a medical-sounding label (like addiction). As we discussed and must reiterate, “addiction” (some call this a really bad habit or besetting sin) often results from bad moral choices. It is part of a sin and its consequences equation (Romans 6:23). Our moral choices have consequences.

 If you want to beat this addiction, then you first must “really want to.” There are no half-measures. There is no easy way out. What’s involved? It’s easy to describe; however, it is challenging to implement and maintain.

 Step One: take responsibility. Let’s be clear. You’ve sinned and sinned willingly. All the 12-step meetings or Sex Addict Anonymous Meetings in the world will make no difference if you don’t call it what it is: sin. It is not a sin against a “higher power.” It is a sin against the One True God. Fundamental to having the power to change is to know personally the God of change, Jesus Christ. Gospel. ABC. I may have offended you earlier by referring to porn users as perpetrators or the high-tech version of a Peeping Tom. Taking responsibility involves coming to terms with these ideas as fact. You are engaging in a perverse voyeurism by choice; the fault is yours. You cannot blame shift. You must take responsibility and accept responsibility for your actions. This moves us to our next step.

Step Two: pursue and accept accountability. While your knee-jerk reaction is toward secrecy, you cannot manage this crisis alone. If you could, then you would not have this habituated sin. You would not be bound to these perverse, hurtful, and harmful urges.

 You need help. Proverbs tells us that when two walk along together and one falls into a ditch, the other pulls him out. Galatians 6:1-5 summarizes the need for accountability and to accept responsibility nicely. At this point, I’m addressing Christians as non-Christians will likely lack the framework and access to the supernatural ability to begin to grapple with this.

Gal. 6:1-5   Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5 For each will have to bear his own load.

 What’s going on here? In this scenario, one has either been detected (caught) with a sin problem or is caught in it in the sense that they are trapped in it or by it (v. 1). Others come to his or her aid to help him or her break free from this problem (v. 1b). And they do so or are to do so with a spirit or attitude of gentleness. Why is this? The answer is found in 1c: “Keep watch on yourself unless you find yourself in the same or similar mess or condition (“By the grace of God there go I...”). Notice the call to handle the sinner with gentleness. There is a kind of tentativeness rather than a harsh condemnation. The long road of repentance will have fits and starts.

 Seek responsibility, not anonymity. For more on this, read Psalm 32 about the blessings of admitting one’s sin and confessing it and the peace that comes. It begins, “How blessed is the man...” (remember David wrote this as a hymn of worship for the Temple):

Psa. 32:1-6  Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. 2 Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 3   For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah 5  I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah 6 Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found...

There’s no hiding this problem... You must admit it, confess it, address it (to God and others). You must seek accountability. You’ll need help. Most cannot do it on their own. Seeking accountability and taking responsibility means going to a group of trustworthy people who are not sentimentally attached to you (lest they be tempted to cut you slack—slack is not what you need, and it is not the same as grace or mercy). God to your pastor or ask for an appointment with an elder—or ask to get on the agenda for the following elders’ meeting. Disclose your sin problem to them and ask for prayer and accountability. With their support, it’s time to take action.

 Taking action. Here’s where taking responsibility and accepting accountability merge and strengthen. Arrange to text the group daily that you are “clean” and free of porn. This is a simple, mechanical, and practical step that you can concretely take. I’ve used this with drug addicts and others. It doesn’t require a lot of your time or theirs. It involves daily accountability. It involves your initiative and commitment. They do not necessarily respond to this text—unless you don’t send it or unless you engage in porn. Your text could say, “Clean of porn and sexual sin in the last 24 hours. This text could come at the end of the day or first thing the next morning.

 There should be a separate text regarding your spiritual disciplines. Invariably, those who do not seem to win the battle against porn have a lack of discipline on multiple levels. First, there’s often a problem of sporadic or shallow bible reading, devotionally speaking. Second, there is an absence of prayer. With these comes a lack of meditation on God’s word with an eye toward application. Many times, such folks are adrift.

 Taking action involves discipline and structure. You’ve got to establish a holy routine and stick with it and stick to it. You may only hit these four days or six days a week. But keep at it. In time, it will take hold.

 Taking action means embracing consequences. But... warning: It’s all up to you in the end in one real sense. You can choose failure. You can choose to lie, misrepresent, and or cut yourself some slack. Don’t lie by text. If you miss a text, explain yourself. If you fail to choose righteousness over porn. Admit it.

 Choose consequences. One of the challenges of the psychological model is that there are few, if any, consequences because there are schools, streams of psychoanalysis, and “therapy” which do not believe either in sin or guilt. This is why we see people in therapy for decades with little or no change. There must be consequences for a lack of change—a lack of repentance. If you spend time in Ephesians 4 or Colossians 3, you see the work and pattern of biblical change... the so-called putting on or putting off. A lack of progress should have consequences.

 You should set milestones or timetables. There should be zero tolerance for your sin. If you were newly saved and a converted serial killer, would allowances be made for your desire to kill? Of course not. There should be no allowance or tolerance for giving up, throwing in the towel, or lying.

 Milestone number one could be texting faithfully for six months. Implicit in this is keeping “clean” for six weeks and then six months. Add to this Bible reading and prayer. You are putting off and putting on, “Let the one who steals steal no longer that he may do something good with his hands...” (Ephesians 4:28).

 Taking action means “spending” all your time wisely. All your time... wisely... spending. Think of time as money. You’ve heard the old saying, “Time is money.” Budget your time so that you don’t have too much downtime on your hands to waste on porn. Keep busy.

Seek, if possible, opportunities to serve and worship if you are in a local church. Investigate small groups. Show members hospitality. Investigate Sunday Schools or Fellowship Groups. Volunteer. Get connected and fill up the calendar where and as appropriate.

 Keep track of your efforts in a journal. It is in this journal that you engage in added prayer through letters to God. This way, you can track your thinking and debrief yourself (and others if necessary). This can be very encouraging as you see how often you begin to pray and pray. You can also see problems start to develop when you neglect spiritual disciplines, like prayer and Bible reading.

 Taking action is both positive and negative. Add activities. Add service. Add accountability. Embrace accountability. Seek it. BUT there is a negative or subtraction aspect: there are people, places, and things in your life that have to go. Jesus puts it this way in dealing with low-tech pornographic thinking in the 1st century AD:

 Matt. 5:27-30   “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right-hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

 Detach and discard. You’ve got to get rid of stumbling blocks in your way (and protect others from stumbling blocks). Changing habits often involves changing friends, locations, and past times. Think of it this way... “drunks shouldn’t go to bars...” And “drunks shouldn’t hang out with drunk friends. Toss the things, even the people, that “cause” or tempt you to sin.

 These are all steps in a walk of repentance. While you’ve got to take the initiative to put one foot in front of the other, there are spiritual family (accountability partners) who support you in prayer and outright encouragement.

 Take action now. Often, people spend too much time planning and thinking and too little time doing. Be biased toward action. Get after it now!

 Is breaking free of porn this easy? Is change really this simple? It can be. Quitting porn takes work. It is difficult, though not impossible, to “quit.” There are physiological urges that will come. Sin is crouching at the door, but you must rule over it, and you can in the power of the Holy Spirit, with a mind informed by the word of God and the people of God coming alongside you.

 Get started by building your plan and sticking to it. Again, difficult doesn’t mean impossible. Have hope! And begin the journey of repentance and change. The road ahead will be bumpy but the endpoint of the journey can be glorious!

Next week: Helping those who struggle with porn

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Porn as Slow-Motion Suicide, installment #1:

This first installment will be very painful for some to read and for that, I’m sorry. It’s hard to say these things, harder still, I’m sure, to read them. But this has to be said before we get into helping those caught in the black widow’s web of porn.

Porn is harmful. It takes something natural and beautiful, bending its purpose into shapes and variations foreign to the intended design. Sexual pleasure is intended for the intimacies of the marital bond. It is deeply personal or was intended to be. It was designed as a private affair. Porn violates all these foundational aspects of sexual intimacy. Sexual contact is to be voluntary between consenting adults—in a marriage. Characteristically, there is some attraction. Sex is also intended for procreation, the birth of children. This is not the case with porn. Porn violates all this.

Porn is voyeurism. Typically, porn involves a spectator who, rather than peering through a window like a yesteryear’s “Peeping Tom,” is peeping in through a camera lens or a screen of some sort. The actual participants may not know one another, may have different (opposite) sexual orientations, and are prostituting themselves for money. They may never have met before; likely, their names are aliases or “stage names.”

Let us not forget human trafficking. Many of the participants in porn videos are women, little girls, and little boys who have been kidnapped and exploited in unspeakable ways. They are performing sexual acts with others against their will (and well-being).

Today, our society has primarily legalized porn. In Hollywood, we have “the adult film industry.” Where prostitutes are having sex on camera for money.  None of which is natural. None of this is normal. Don’t kid yourself.

Above all, understand that there are “Designer Specifications” for sexual intimacy, and virtually every aspect of the porn industry violates these “specs.” At every level, porn is involved in some criminal activity—morally, if not legally. But porn isn’t about morals. It’s about death. Porn is slow motion suicide and murder.

Porn stimulates something in us that is progressively unhealthy. It’s like a cancer eating away at us from the inside. Porn creates a world, for one, that does not exist and cannot be had. Porn stimulates a part of the brain that creates a hormonal response that becomes progressively stronger and insatiable over time. It’s the same response that gambling addicts (whatever an addict is) have. It’s not unlike a runner’s high. Those who abuse drugs know about this. We could spend time on the science, but the science isn’t the issue.

The porn fantasy world brings death to normal, healthy relationships between men and women, husbands and wives. When a man makes a choice to use porn, they are one step closer to adultery. They may ask, wish, or fantasize that their spouse engages in practices they see on screen that their spouse won’t do. They want them to replicate some action or activity they saw as they peeped in on the people prostituting themselves on camera. Bizarre and unfair comparisons often occur. Resentments are born and hatched. Intimacy at all levels does not go unaffected. The Peeping Tom develops a double life.

Going back to the hormonal or endocrine response, porn triggers something physiological in the body. This is where the addiction terminology comes in. And this is where there is the temptation to treat porn as a disease—something beyond our control.

Choices have consequences. Buy crack, heroin, meth, or even marijuana, and you have stepped through a door that leads to harm. You are willingly doing something with and to your brain and body that will lead to a physical dependence on this drug. You made a moral choice that will have consequences. The fault is yours. The responsibility is yours. As children, we learn that hot stoves burn. As thinking adults, we know that meth, crack, etc. (anything that affects our faculties and decision-making) has (at the very least) the potential for great harm. Eighty-five (85%) percent of the homeless people account for such moral, self-inflicted decisions. The same is true with porn.

Like drugs, porn, with its peculiar sexual urges, is progressive.  It tends to leave its perpetrators unsatisfied and craving more. It creates an itch that can never be scratched enough. The more porn you “do” to more porn you want. Your sex drive, married or single, becomes about gratifying you, often to the harm of others. We’ll develop this more later.

Talk to anyone who’s experienced porn for any length of time. They graduate to other levels of porn. Someone once winced and called this a progression to “abnormal porn.” “Abnormal porn...” let that sink in. Is there such a thing as normal porn? What does this look like?

Perhaps they start with heterosexual porn between two adults. Maybe they go beyond this to orgiastic porn with multiple partners and same-sex participants. At first, they feel shocked, maybe a tinge of shame and self-loathing—but there’s always a thrill at some level. The abnormal becomes normal as their conscience dies, their soul becomes seared, and they need, they want, more. Many, if not most, will eventually plumb the depths of other forms of porn. They may gratify their desires vis-à-vis their own promiscuity, which is not without its consequences (STD’s, including AIDS). They, in turn, infect others. There’s always harm. There’s always... always... collateral damage.

Many perpetrators or peepers take their voyeurism to the next level. Some become peeping Tom types in a more literal and risky sense. Others graduate to child porn, bestiality, violent porn (people do violence to one another or a victim who may be sex trafficked), or some other extreme. There are worse forms, but we will stop here.

Some become pedophiles, which society and the media now try to reclassify as Minor Attracted Adults (i.e., would-be child molesters). Porn is to the body and soul like the poison arsenic, which in small amounts is seemingly not lethal, except that it can build up in the body over time to become lethal. So it is with porn.

Porn builds up in the body and soul over time. It kills the conscience, numbing it to the point it has little normal sensation or feelings. It disables the moral compass, affecting choices and decisions. One becomes morally lost. It destroys reason. It destroys relationships. Careers. Children.

In my counseling ministry, I’ve met individuals who were exposed to porn as young as 8 or 10. Because porn is so readily available on the internet and nowadays, at least in California, in more than a few public school curricula, children are scarred for life from an early age, apart from divine intervention.

One’s participation in porn, in one way or another, contributes to a variety of moral crimes. They create a market for the exploitation of victims of sex traffickers. Participation in porn funds all kinds of evil. There are extreme cases where the proclivity for porn leads the perpetrator to commit sex crimes, from peeping in windows to inappropriate contact with unwilling victims, whether little children, strangers in a crowd, or crimes of sexual violence (like rape and incest).

Porn involves death by inches, death by a thousand cuts. You are killing yourself and others through collateral damage. That’s why porn is slow-motion suicide. Is there hope? There is! Is the road easy? It’s not. It’s difficult, but difficult does not mean impossible. True enough, the wages of sin is death... but the free gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23). There is help. There is hope. There is Divine Intervention.

Are there Christians struggling with porn? Contrary to popular mythology and urban legend, porn is not “every man’s battle.” However, there are more involved in porn than one might imagine but fewer than we are led to believe. We must be wary of popular Christian literature inadvertently “normalizing” porn. That’s a suicidal tendency, too—a new normal. Like homosexuality or transgenderism or “Minor Attracted Adults” gaining currency as normal in our culture.

Are you struggling with porn? What can you do now? Number 1: don’t see yourself as a victim. Don’t see yourself as “sick.” You haven’t caught a cold or COVID; like a crack addict, you’ve made decisions that come back to haunt and harm. BUT... you can also make new decisions and chart a new course. But make no mistake, you are a perpetrator. All sinners are, and pornography is a sin. It is a sin against God, humanity, and “nature.” Also, know that your situation is serious but not hopeless. As the LORD asked Abraham and Sarah when He told them they were going to have a son in their old age, “Is there anything impossible for the LORD.” Similarly, Jesus remarked that with God, nothing is impossible, even if you have faith the size of a mustard seed.

The question is, do you want change? Do you really want it? In the end, it is up to you. There is help available, real help. We’ll get into this next time.

Significance and Implications of Asking God "Why?"

This post may not sit well with some people. This is one of those difficult topics that we may know the answer to in our heads (and then again… maybe not) but not in our hearts. This occurred to me during devotions with my wife over Christmas.

Therefore, consider this a Christmas and New Year post. I am technically behind on both. One of my favorite Christmas (incarnation) verses is Galatians 4:4-5:

4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

Why? Of course, we realize that  “… God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.“

But why then? Why not next year? Why not sooner? Sure, “when the fullness of time had come, God sent for His Son…” How did God determine the fullness of time? Why was this the right time? Could God not have done it sooner? By now, you are probably wondering what I’m up to. This brings us to Romans…

Do we have the right to ask, “Why?” In a different context, in Romans chapter nine, the Holy Spirit, through the pen of the Apostle Paul, addresses such a question.:

20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay… (Romans 9:20-21)?

How often, when we are feeling spiritual about the happy, mysterious ways of God, do we say things like “God’s ways are above our ways… His thoughts are above our thoughts… (Isaiah 55:8-9)?” We routinely say that God is all-knowing, all-wise, and His will is perfect. We say His perspective is wider, eternal and ours is so limited.. so narrow. But do we really believe it?

Our confidence in God’s wisdom and goodness can shift when adversity comes our way. At a previous church, someone told me a relative was “mad at God” because the young man’s 90-something-year-old grandmother passed away—and so he asked, “Why did God take her when He did?” You might say the obvious answer is something like, “Wow… she was in her 90s after all.” Implicit in your answer is that God was not in the wrong for what He did in taking the grandmother. Such a “case study” is an easy one. What if God takes away your job, your health… a child, or a spouse? My health?

Who are we to question God’s intelligence, morality, sense of timing, purpose, and character (Romans 9:20-21)? That’s what is bound up, packaged (baked into the cake), when we ask God, “Why?” Implicitly, when one is mad at the One True God, we are setting ourselves up as His judge. We are doing like Adam and Eve: believing a lie about God (Satan suggested God was holding them back (Genesis 3:4-5).

Getting back to the young man who was mad at God for taking his 90-something grandmother… Would he (would we) like to pick and choose the date of a loved one’s death? In other words, “Would we like to play God?” What if God shortens your life (my life) through a chronic illness? Death, illness, and other things in this world remind us, like the grandmother’s death, that life is short. We only have so much time, and we should employ it well. There is a reason and a season for everything that happens on this fallen, broken word that sin has disfigured (Ecclesiastes 3:1-22). Humanity broke the world (Romans 5:12), and God is making all things new through the person and work of Jesus Christ in His unfolding drama of redemption. There is no random change. Everything happens for a reason. You are no accident. You have a purpose. God raised you up and planted you here. Maybe we are asking the wrong question (Why?).

This New Year, maybe ask, “What now, what next, Master?” As my battery and your battery runs down, how will we make the most of the time we have left? For starters, we need to be trusting God even when life hurts. Everything that happens to you happens for a good reason (Genesis 50:20). Each experience, “good or bad,” happens for a reason. God is equipping you where you are to do greater and greater things (James 1:2-5). Maybe make it your New Year’s resolution to trust God and put to use the lessons learned from suffering in the service of God and others. And just maybe God will use you in the lives of others to bring them to Christ or to comfort them with wisdom learned the hard way (James 1:5-8). Don’t fall into the devil’s trap of distrusting God. Flee into His waiting arms as you suffer hardship or experience setbacks, and this year will be different than any other.

What About a Christmas Tree?

Christmas is all about redemption. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us… the only begotten God from the Father’s side He has made Him known… Good news of great joy which will be for all people… For unto you a Savior (the Savior) is born: Christ the Lord. Christmas is about redemption. Salvation. And yet Christmas these days has been complicated by culture, commercialism, and so many other factors.

Many yearn to get back to the basics of Christmas. I know I do. Some years back, I was “confronted” by a brother in Christ who was troubled about Christmas Trees. For him, it was another complication. He asked me about pagan Roman holidays. He spoke of Druid Rites in ancient England. Instead, I pointed him to Martin Luther. Martin Luther is credited for the first Christmas tree.

Luther was the father of the Protestant Reformation. He despised statues, idols, and anything that detracted from Christ. And yet he is credited for the first Christmas tree. Luther was also a poet, a musician, an artist and is also credited with writing the first children’s curriculum.

And the Christmas Tree? As I understand it, the star at the top represented The Star the wise men followed. Beneath an evergreen, which represented a night sky—beneath which he placed a nativity scene. Luther apparently cooked all this up for his children. Supposedly, the candles (lights today) represented angels or stars. So, what about a Christmas tree at Christmas? Go for it or abstain from it. And make sure you let others enjoy theirs.

Sure, we live in a post-Christian neopagan world where people often adopt all kinds of practices in their lives. But I don’t think you can blame the Druids for the Christmas Tree—or Roman Saturnalia. It’s more nuanced and complicated than that.

The Downgrade Continues: Loving Jesus But Not the Church

Some time ago, there was this naive or ill-informed video by a teen where he said he loved Jesus but not the Church. His reasoning demonstrated a commonplace biblical illiteracy. People love to criticize the church, not go to church (we’ve talked about this before). “I was hurt at a church, and so I can’t (won’t?) return to another church. I was hurt on a playground once in kindergarten, but I later returned. Perhaps you had bad service in a restaurant? Do you still eat out? Still eat? You get the picture. Christians love the church. Why? They love God’s people. NonChristians do not. I can’t make an elephant like a steak. It’s not in its nature. Birds fly. Fish swim. Horses run. Christians worship—individually and collectively. It’s who they are. It’s what they do (read Hebrews 10:24-25). Psalm 100 speaks of the excitement God’s people experience as they prepare to worship together. Nehemiah 8 describes the determination God’s people had to come together to hear His word taught and carefully explained.

Someone once accused me of loving the church too much. I found that odd. Paul described his love for the church as that of a nursing mother (1 Thess. 2:7). Jesus said a good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

What is the Church? It’s been called the body of Christ and the Bride of Christ. Jesus gave up His life on the cross for His people, the Church. I’ve never seen Jesus in person. One day, I hope to do so. I have, however, seen His bride. How could I not love the Bride of Christ? The Church is the physical representation of Christ on earth. To neglect her is to neglect Jesus. To denigrate or minimize her is to minimize or disrespect Jesus.

I recently preached a sermon series on rethinking church. You can find it in our sermon archive. In this series I explained that if you don’t love the church, then you don’t love Jesus. To dismiss the importance of the Bride of Christ is to dismiss the Groom (Jesus). Where did I get an idea like that? From Jesus. What we do for the church. The love we show for His bride, we show to Him. You can’t separate one from the other—no matter how much you’d like to find an excuse to do so.